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We all have those friends or family members who come to us for advice. They’re going through a tough time, and they need someone to talk to. We want to help, so we offer our advice. But sometimes, the best thing we can do is just listen.

Here are a few reasons why people might want you to listen instead of advise them:

  • They just need to vent. Sometimes, people just need to get things off their chest. They don’t need advice, they just need someone to listen.
  • They want to feel heard. When someone is going through a tough time, they often feel like they’re not being heard. By listening to them, you can show them that you care and that you’re there for them.
  • They need to come to their own conclusions. Sometimes, the best way to help someone is to let them figure things out for themselves. By listening to them, you can help them to process their thoughts and feelings and to come to their own conclusions.

female talking with psychologist during session
ethnic psychologist touching black depressed clients shoulder


Of course, there are times when it is appropriate to offer advice. But if you’re not sure, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and just listen. Here are a few tips for listening effectively:

  1. Be present. When someone is talking to you, give them your full attention. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and really listen to what they have to say.
  2. Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish their thought before you respond.
  3. Ask questions. This shows that you’re interested in what they have to say and that you’re trying to understand their perspective.
  4. Avoid judgment. It’s important to be non-judgmental when someone is talking to you about a difficult situation. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them, but it does mean that you should respect their feelings and their right to make their own decisions.
  5. Offer support. Let the person know that you’re there for them and that you care about them. You can offer practical support, such as helping them to find resources or to make arrangements. You can also offer emotional support, such as listening to them and letting them know that you’re there for them.

Listening is a powerful tool. It can help to build relationships, to resolve conflict, and to provide support. If you’re willing to listen to the people in your life, you’ll be surprised at how much you can learn and how much you can help.

Here are some additional tips for being a good listener:

  • Be patient. It may take time for the person to share what they’re going through.
  • Be empathetic. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand how they’re feeling.
  • Be supportive. Let the person know that you’re there for them and that you care.
  • Don’t offer solutions. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just listen.
  • Don’t judge. It’s important to be non-judgmental when someone is talking to you about a difficult situation.
  • Be confidential. Keep what the person tells you to yourself.

candid photography of two female hugging


Listening is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. But it’s a skill that’s worth learning. When you’re a good listener, you can build stronger relationships, help resolve conflict, and provide support to those who need it most.

Here are some examples of how you can be a good listener:

  • If someone is talking about a problem they’re having, ask them open-ended questions to help them explore the situation.
  • Let the person know that you’re listening by nodding your head, making eye contact, and using verbal cues such as “uh huh” and “I see.”
  • Avoid interrupting the person or trying to offer solutions until they’ve had a chance to fully express themselves.
  • If the person is feeling overwhelmed, offer to help them brainstorm solutions or connect them with resources that may be helpful.
  • Let the person know that you’re there for them and that you care.


Listening is a powerful way to show someone that you care. By taking the time to listen to someone, you can help them to feel heard, understood, and supported.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is to just listen. If you’re willing to listen to the people in your life, you’ll be surprised at how much you can learn and how much you can help. Be there for your people and be free to share what you want to but wait, with only those who are really trustworthy!!